Monday, May 31, 2010 Learn to love yourself
Posted by Philothea` @ Monday, May 31, 2010 | I'm back from a good 2 days spent at Suntec Convention Hall for Hope Conference ID2010! :)
During tonight's ANEW praise & worship concert, we were asked to pray with someone from another congregation and I conveniently turned around to this woman from the Filipino group behind me whom I don't know. She affectionately held my hands so tightly that I grew nervous and she was tearing after I prayed for her. Coincidentally, during the ending period when we went forward to be prayed for by the pastoral leaders, she appeared next to the queue beside me. It was a nice surprise to see her again and this time she said something which alarmed me. She commented that I was beautiful and I immediately gave her the glare and responded: NO!
Thinking back, I realised I had been rude and I should have politely accepted her compliments instead. Oops. I'm not good with compliments. Haha. I'm shy and mostly, very skeptical of people's affirmations of me. I can think of the numerous beautiful people around me but I find it hard to accept that adjective on myself. Hohoho. Don't worry, I'm learning to love myself more and getting rid of my 'I-shouldn't-have-been-born-in-this world' or related idea. I admit that I've contemplated suicide on many accounts in the past but never found the courage to plunge to hell. Since the death of a TDS junoir - Melissa Toh, I was kinda awaken/reminded not to attempt anything silly no matter what happens. And there you have it - I'm kicking and alive till this day for more good reasons than ever.
Thank you God and my dear friends who helped me maintain my sanity till this day. I may have grown more reserved over the years but I still have that soft spot to open up my life when I sense your sincerity, non-judgmental and unconditional love for me. And to the many people who wondered why I'm such a mystery - well, I never believed that I should deposit my whole life into any single friend and that every of my important friend knows just enough. You will only be able to see my life's entity when you piece all the jigsaw puzzle together from all the important people in my life. And if you were concerned, you would have asked, wouldn't you? How do you expect me to pour out to you when I don't see the connection? Hehe.
Anyway Chris, thanks for sharing this video below! That man is amazing!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010 25th May
Posted by Philothea` @ Tuesday, May 25, 2010 | I've yet to update about this month's happenings. I shall backtrack bit by bit. Hoho.
Today I was dragged all the way to Bradell for lunch with matt after meeting yuniza to return her kite. I had to hurry before I rushed for tuition. Anyway, I wonder why: while I was in IJtp, I failed to realise the existence of the nearby CHICKEN RICE BALL stall?!
I had my first chicken rice ball a few weeks ago at Carousel at Royal Plaza on Scotts. And this time, it's a cheaper alternative at a heartland kopitiam.
On another random note:
And the final random note: PAGEONE WAREHOUSE SALES IS HERE AGAIN!!!Every time that happens, I would return home with a trolley of books at great bargain.
Saturday, May 15, 2010 YOG
Posted by Philothea` @ Saturday, May 15, 2010 |
This is ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
If you don't get what I meant, watch the video below:damn gross. No offense to fans of JJ (I do think he's brilliant) but what kinda 'dragon ball' action is that?!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010 Brazil
Posted by Philothea` @ Wednesday, May 12, 2010 |
My little 5-minutes short film made last year with my nostalgic love for my brazil eraser will go public starting this Friday!
On that very same day, we're going to our long awaited fly kite and picnic outing!
Sorry! I only invited admers for the event below cos I think most of my other friends are working/schooling and it's pretty weird to mix company?
thanks roy for the designing the invite last month in the midst of our exams. hoho.
ありがとう
Posted by Philothea` @ Wednesday, May 12, 2010 | Lays just asked me to check my mail when I was about to collapse in bed at 4am after 2 days of shoot for Ben's short film
Thank you dear creatives core. I'm touched even before you appear before my door.
Sunday, May 09, 2010 Birthday wish
Posted by Philothea` @ Sunday, May 09, 2010 |
Polaroid CZA-05300B PoGo Instant Digital Camera
Monday, May 03, 2010 End of Year 2
Posted by Philothea` @ Monday, May 03, 2010 |
I haven't quite decided if I should go. I'm not in any mood to party. I like to hide under my blanket to sleep. Haha. Anyway Ironman 2 is worth my $10.50 yesterday evening.
Sunday, May 02, 2010 these things never end
Posted by Philothea` @ Sunday, May 02, 2010 | These days I just cannot stand the sight of myself anymore.
The lumps in my throat are expanding and they're hideous.
But I see no point in any operation since they're not life threatening.
The fats are multiplying and the lines are deepening.
I cannot look myself in the face without a frown.
Maybe that's why you despise me. But who cares anyway?
You will be old and wrinkly someday.
So stop giving me the glare and etching the cracks.
I NEED A REAL VOCATION.
My insomnia and nightmares are killing me.
Stop making me feel guilty for not meeting up or helping out.
When I'm rested and well, I can be a better being/friend. I promise.
Just bear with me for a little longer, won't you?
